When I was younger my impatience showed up in everyday living. One day my brother was ‘bothering’ me by simply standing beside me.  “Stop breathing on me!” I said to him with great irritation.  He looked at me and snickered, which didn’t help the situation, but he gave me the space I needed in that moment.  We’ve laughed throughout the years about that one.

One thing that I have learned through my life is that “Patience is a virtue”.  Patience is not something that you gain overnight; it is a skill, a practice of kindness.  Through my years working with children and adolescents, my patience practice expanded.  The more I noticed in my work practice, the more recognition I began having in my home life with friends and family.  I’ll tell you honestly, I have been very impatient in my life, but over time I’ve come to appreciate and understand others more, which in essence has allowed me the ability to show fortitude with others.

Patience is an intentional act in my opinion.  A lot of anger management practice is around patience.  I notice patience and impatience in myself, and others on a day-to-day basis.  Children become quickly frustrated and move to something else so they are no longer frustrated.  This might be called ‘frustration tolerance’.  We adults do this as well, but it might show up differently.  Another way to think of frustration tolerance is ‘un-noticed impatience’.

Each day gives you an open door for learning, practicing something new, going with the flow, as well as following the status quo, remaining unaware.  I notice practicing patience in my garden.  Five years ago I began planting and now things are developing from an inspired dream.  In ten years the garden will have manifested in tremendous ways, but I must be patient to see how the garden will become.

Dealing with impatience and frustration can show up in a variety of forms.  This often takes shape through a typical societal way, through ‘war’. We see and hear about the ‘war on drugs’, ‘the war on terror’, ‘the war on hunger’, ‘war on cancer’…this is a common theme in our society.  Our strongest worldly role models promote fighting something, usually due to fear.  This promotes impatience, acting aggressively and destroying something else or someone else.

Patience and tolerance on the other hand promotes understanding and love.  Understanding and loving another or a situation requires stopping and seeing the whole picture.  It requires slowing down your normal pace and allowing an experience to unfold.  It requires less action and more skill.  Mindfulness of the desired outcome is a necessity.

What is the outcome you really want?  Is your life about you and you alone, what you want to make sure you check off your list?  Is your life about relationship with others and keeping a bond with them?  Is your life about building your dreams, staying focused, no matter if it disappoints and possibly hurts others in the process?  These questions are difficult ones to answer.  Finding patience within you, and then with others will help.